A collection of randomness, things I love and find inspiring. Currently a blog to help me become strong and Fit the healthy way. =D

 

personal crap ahead, fair warning.

Why is it so difficult for me to just know that someone loves me, and easy at the same time. I don’t know how else to explain it. I know I’m loved, but at the same time I’m constantly questioning myself. Idk. Maybe its just the lack of sleep getting to me. I really need to figure out a way to sleep more than 2 hours at a time. Its getting out of hand. 

Ok, so I weigh like 85lbs (nobigdeal i’m only like 4’7” ) 

But this to me is a big deal, I dead lifted 65 lbs :D I felt pretty awesome afterward. so yay me! 

I had so much fun at the gym tonight. Here is what we did:

WU: mobility stretching, 1min of butt kickers and crunches.

400m run

15 Power cleans (I used a 30 lb bar)

6 burpees facing the bar (jump over bar in between each one)

25 air squats

800m run

repeat the above exercises (save the 400m run for last though)

5 min. of rowing

1 min of bicycle crunches 

Stretching.

I am so sore from monday still though. I will post what we did monday in a few minutes. 

I have probably already posted about this BUT MOTHERFUCKING CROSSFIT GYM 3 BLOCKS FROM MY HOUSE YO! AND IN THIS TINY ASS TOWN! Hells yes!! <3 I already signed up!!! 

Today someone told me I should dress up as Ariel for halloween lol. I thought it was a little funny.

Today someone told me I should dress up as Ariel for halloween lol. I thought it was a little funny.

Plans for tonight = Get rid of this fucking head cold that came on all of a sudden. I’ve been pumping in vitamin c and cold medicine all day at work just to function. Now its time to become semi comatose on my couch until I feel like a human.

Just some thoughts on my weight/height and food issues :)

According to WebMD the lowest “healthy” weight for my height is 83 lbs. Right now I weigh 88ish lbs. I weighed myself finally, after months of not even thinking about the scale. I know how I look in the mirror and am fairly happy with it. I wanted to put a number to the way I look. 

Keep in mind, I am a very short person, only 4ft 8in. I know what I look like at 67lbs (about 5 years ago) at that height and I know what I look like at 75lbs (about 3 1/2 years ago) at that height. Parts of me want to get back to 75lbs, I know that is not healthy, so I will shoot for 80lbs. 

I have issues with food. Because of how many years I spent just being hungry constantly and thinking that was a normal feeling, I have a hard time telling when I am actually hungry. This leads to me not eating or not realizing that I am hungry and should eat. Most of the time when I sit down to eat, its because someone had to remind me that I haven’t eaten yet. When I was working out much more, I was able to tell a bit when I was actually hungry. I am still trying to develop a healthy relationship with food, and not just eating junk. I am pretty proud of myself with how far I’ve come since those measley 67lbs. 

I do not drink soda anymore, I try to stay away from dairy (except occasionally when I indulge in a slice of pizza) I try to eat healthy and I try hard to remember to actually eat during the day. 

I just want to try my best to get to my fittest. 

I so wish I could have gone to the MRKH day downstate. It would have been amazing to actually meet other women with this stupid syndrome. 

I try not to think of myself on Mother’s day, but today my boyfriend brought it up. He told me, when we finally lived together again that we were going to get at least 2 or 3 cats and/or a dog and that they would be our “fur babies” and that would be our family. It was so sweet and unexpected. 

Living alone as a young adult,

Pros: If I want a brownie at 10;45 at night, there is no one to tell me that’s a bad idea.

Cons: If I want a brownie at 10:45 at night, there is no one to tell me that’s a bad idea